Friday 13 July 2012

All Na Film Trick

PIDGIN ENGLISH VERSION:
Omo see something
Naija don better oh............
See how all the girls dey shine for home video
See how the weddings dey dazzle 
See all the boutiques wey dem dey open 
See how musicians dey chop life
See how politicians dey live large
See how all our actors dey drive big car
Omo things don change oh !

Omo see something
Naija don better oh...........
See how we replace NEPA* with generator
See how we replace water board with bore hole
See how we replace NITEL* with mobile phone
See how we replace better olopa* with high fence
See how we replace Nigerian Airways with anything else
See how we change state schools to poultry shed
Omo things don change oh !

Omo see something
Naija don better oh..........
See how all our pickins dey study for Ghana
See how we export ashewo go everywhere
See how we import Chinese replace Englishman
See how we create 419 brand
See how our big men dey buy all London
See how our girls sabi Brazillian and Indian*
Omo things don change oh !

Omo see something
Naija don better oh..........
Our pickin know all USA states....but no sabi where Damaturu* dey
Our sisi sabi chop strawberry and apple.....but dem forbid agbalumo, udara, otien*..
Our brothers sabi flex Gucci* belt......but deny Hausa* slippers
Our aristos sabi Laboutin* ......but forbid Adire*
Our ajebos sabi Harry Potter and Shakespeare .....but no sabi Achebe or Soyinka*
Dem even get English accent......but dem forbid Pidgin English
Dem ban tribal marks..........but dem love dollar tattoo !

Omo things don change
Make we clap for ourselves. 
Na progress....abi?

ENGLISH VERSION:
My friend, can you believe it?
Nigeria sure has come a long way.............
See all the gorgeous girls in our movies
See how fabulous our weddings are
See all the boutiques being opened daily
See how our musicians are enjoying life
See how our politicians are living large
See how our actors drive flashy car
Nigeria sure has come a long way !

My friends, can you believe it?
Nigeria sure has come a long way..........
Look how we replaced NEPA* with individual generators
Look how we replaced our Water Boards with individual Boreholes
Look how we replaced NITEL* with mobile phones
Look how we replaced good policemen with higher fences
Look how we replaced Nigerian Airways with anything else
Look how we left our state schools to become poultry sheds
Nigeria sure has come a long way !

My friends, can you believe it?
Nigeria sure has come a long way..........
See how our children now go to schools in Ghana
See how we have exported prostitution worldwide
See how we have imported the Chinese to replace the English
See how we have created the 419* brand
See how our rich men own choice properties in London
See how knowledgeable our girls are about weave-on
Nigeria sure has come a long way !

My friend, can you believe it?
                              Nigeria sure has come a long way...........                               Our children know all the USA states ....but have no idea where Damaturu* is
Our girls love eating strawberries and apples.....but shy away from Nigerian cherry fruit
Our brothers wear Gucci* belts........but forbid Hausa-made* footwear
Our aristocrats love Louboutin* shoes .......but will not wear Adire* fabric
Our spoilt children know 'Harry Potter' and 'Shakespeare' .....but don't know Achebe or Soyinka*
They even have English accents ...but forbid Pidgin English
They banned tribal marks.....but they love tattoos of dollars !

Nigeria sure has come a long way......
We deserve a round of applause
This is progress ...............Isn't it ?




GLOSSARY:

NEPA* = National Electric Power Authority (organisation formerly responsible for use of electricity in Nigeria)
NITEL* = Nigerian Telecommunications Limited (main telecommunications company in Nigeria)
olopa* = policeman
419* = Advance Fee Fraud
Brazillian and Indian* = Types of Human Hair extensions
Damaturu* = City in Yobe State
agbalumo, udara, otien* = Traditional names for Nigerian cherry fruit
Gucci* = Italian designer
Hausa* = Ethnic group in Northern Nigeria
Louboutin* = Luxury French designer
Adire* = Yoruba tie and dye cloth
Achebe or Soyinka* = Great Nigerian authors