Saturday, 29 September 2012

An Ephiphany

(Ephiphany:  A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden realization)

Have you ever woken up in the morning and just wondered where you would find the strength to do all you had to do that day?

Well, that was me on Wednesday............

After five hours sleep, I woke up to a new morning and my whole body ACHED. Believe me, I didn't need an Anatomy textbook to tell me where every bone and joint was ....because EVERY bone and joint ached from  tiredness. What made it even worse was the realisation that:

Hubby was out of town............
I had a day long programme to deliver to a new client;
I had one child to pick up from a rugby tournament after school;
The two other children were to be picked up from another location after school;
Three lots of homework had to be supervised after work;
And a work-related deadline of Friday was also looming.......

To top it all, we were throwing a birthday party for my last son on Saturday (29th). Somehow, somehow that cute brown chocolate of a boy had got us to agree to throw a party for 15 kids AT HOME.... !! and just two days to the day...I hadn't bought a single thing !!!! *sigh* 

After my morning prayers, I gave myself a pep talk and faced the day - handing everything over to God. My God did not fail me as that day went very well .......

I then decided to do most of the party shopping on Thursday so I would have Friday free to tie up work-related issues. Hubby was also due back Thursday so I knew he would take over anything that was left over. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I hate shopping so as I entered the first shop on Thursday, I was already muttering:
         'Na who send me this kind wahala, I for just beg this pickin make im do party next year !!!  (Why did I get myself into this? I should have just begged my son to have his party next year instead)

However, as soon as I got to the toy shop and started looking around for his 'perfect' present, my son's face came to mind and I imagined his delight and excitement at receiving gifts; having his friends round and generally being made to feel special for ONE whole day.

At that moment, something spoke to me and said 'If you were preparing for a funeral....wouldnt you still be doing all this running around? Is it not a blessing that you are running around for a joyful celebration?'

I then recalled the Bible passage Ecclessiastes 3 (1-9):
 There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens............
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance.........................
Believe me, at that moment, my whole body was energised and I shopped and planned like a woman possessed. The mental picture of my happy son was enough for me to ignore any aches and pain. All I wanted was for him to have the happiest birthday because no matter what happens, this birthday will never come again.

When hubby arrived, I shared my 'epiphany' with him and he loved it so I wanted to share it with you all.

I'm happy to say we had a wonderful day and even the weather was beautiful. Thanks be to God.

I know life can be so trying sometimes that we forget that every tribulation is temporary. Every situation is transient. No condition is permanent.

That is why whenever we are blessed and lucky enough to celebrate and laugh, we should do so with all our heart and might. There is a time for everything. Celebrate like its your wedding; Dance like its your last ever party and laugh like you have won the lottery.

Why? Because you can.......................someone somewhere  cant.

God bless you all...........and happy birthday to all September babies out there

PS - I'm off to sleep now. My body still aches LOL

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Ramblings, Questions and Thoughts

Hope all of you are well ?? I see a few nodding, a couple shaking their heads and a handful looking undecided. LOL

Anyway dearies, I had a post ready but I had to come back with a few randoms. Please bear with me:

(1) A Diet Too Far
Disclaimer: This is not aimed at those among us who are temporarily taking steps to lose weight but it is aimed at women who are healthy but go on and on about losing weight.

We all watch what we eat from time to time but I do get bored when conversations with some women centres around losing weight ALL THE TIME.

Come on sisters, a cure for cancer is still pending; Boko Haram is still running riot and there are soo many current affairs' issues we should be trashing out. I respect the fact that we all need to watch our weight but it does get boring if that is all we talk about.

Has anyone ever gone to a funeral, looked at a skinny corpse - lying in  a coffin - and exclaimed 'My, my, my...that girl is looking good. She is so slim. I need to look like her'  ????? I GUESS NOT. Life is for the living. Eat sensibly, move around more and monitor your health. That should suffice.

(2) Outsourcing Parenting
More and more parents are sending their children here to study in British secondary schools and universities. I have no problem with this but it really amazes me when people choose to bring their children over to stay with relatives who they then assume will be responsible for their child's upbringing.
Wrong, wrong, wrong !! It is so unfair. 

The average Nigerian-British family home has two parents juggling work, kids, homework, tight finances and tight living spaces (FYI - our homes are not as big as what you have back in Naija). In the midst of all this juggling - and trying to keep the romance alive - a teenager is dumped on the couple by parents who are more concerned about the status a 'child studying abroad' brings to them. 

I have seen instances where such 'outsourced teenagers' does not even help in the houisehold, becomes a disruptive force and creates tension among the couple. Worse still, I have seen a situation where one of these 'outsourced' kids stole her hosts' jewellery and sold it. The reason - she was broke and had to maintain her 'aristo' lifestyle. When the issue was reported to her parents - they did not show any surprise because - apparently - she was known to be a thief in Nigeria. How can parents outsource their deviant child to an unsuspecting relative? JUST WRONG !!! 

(3) Put Down The Cloak
Women are wonderful creatures and my African sisters are amazing. It is normal to see one woman doing all these:
- Running a home
- Working Full Time
- Helping The Kids with Their Homework
- Arranging all the kid's parties and socialising
- Volunteering in Church
- Caring for her siblings
- Caring for elderly parents etc etc

All commendable, all wonderful BUT ..........we are not superhumans. Even the strongest tree can bend if the right amount of pressure is applied. I talk to a lot of women and quite a lot are one step away from breaking point. This is not healthy.

Since we are all destined to grow old and die, is it not a shame if our youth is festooned with worry, commitments and drudgery. My advice is that  no matter how many commitments you have, please find time, put down the cloak - at least once a month - to do something for you. You deserve it !!!! There is no Academy award or Nobel prize for sufferhead. 

(4) A Bad Smell can never be Hidden
Okay, I was at a party with hubby and we had been dancing for some time. We felt a bit hot, so we stepped out for fresh air. As I'm standing outside talking to hubby some Naija girls walk in between us without even saying 'Excuse me'.

I was a bit peeved but I let it slide. However, the same girls walked past us and brushed past me roughly. I begin to get angry...until hubby says to ignore them as they seem to be 'craving attention'. 

This scenario might sound familiar to some of you because I have since noticed that some of our Naija girls just lack social graces. Similarly, quite a few of our boys over here go around shouting into mobile phones - about one business deal or the other; ogling every female and looking for shortcuts to everything.

Walking around in fake Louboutin; tossing around 60'' Brazillian and squeezing into undersized lycra mini dresses does not make a cow a lady.

 Similarly, shouting into mobile phones, adorned in designer clothes and Ray bans does not make a village idiot a business tycoon.  

Whether we like it or not, when outside one's home ......we should try to conduct ourselves in a way that will make whoever raised us - proud.

(5) Reclaiming The African Child 
I really dont understand why - over here - MOST adverts for international charities have to feature a starving African child. It seems as if they feel that is the way to make people feel like giving. I also wonder why people who are raising funds for an African based charitable cause say 'They are raising money for AFRICA !!

OMG ! OMG !! 'Raisi'ng money for Africa?' Is it too much to ask 'Where in Africa?'......'What project?' .........'For how long..?'

I am not saying Africa doesnt have issues BUT not all African children are suffering, starving or disadvantaged. FYI, child poverty is a huge issue here. If you doubt me, please see here OR here OR here OR even here.

Know yourself no be curse.

See you all very soon